It's Monday and as Monday's go, mine was great. Work was light but not boring. My co-workers were in good spirits and everyone I interacted with had a pleasant attitude. I suspect side effects from all that near spring-time sun we're getting here in California......mixed with the psychedelic effects of loosing one hour of sleep had something to do with the pleasantries flying in abundance. Even traffic managed to clear up for my commute home!
Where was I though? My mind was elsewhere, I was thinking of card making all day long. I was thinking of sketches, wondering which websites had challenges I could participate in, day dreaming that I got a day away to craft to my hearts desire. Or even better, design stamps for a living and being on the design team of nearly everything and get paid to play all day long.
Yes, I am suffering from being an avocation novice. The dangers of being an novice is that self control is not yet present. This admittedly is my very first hobby and I'm going through growing pains. At first it was nice, then I discovered I had a knack for it so I dabbled more and more and more. Until now where it has became the only thing I want to do .
No one warned me that hobbies can be all consuming and that self control must be gotten in order to 1) maintain the hobby in the first place i.e. make a real living to pay for the hobby and 2) to keep it from destroying the rest of my life which provides me the joy and inspiration to create in the first place. i.e. my relationships with family and friends.
Alas, I am now in a self imposed conundrum. I was happy before having any hobby. Then life got more interesting after finding a hobby. Now I'm bummed when I can't engage in my hobby..... I mean, life was never a problem before this whole shenanigan. Now it feels like life gets in the way of it.
So was I better off before I started this whole thing?
It's like in the Twilight Saga when they describe how new vampires are the most dangerous because they crave that one thing. And that's all they want. There's only thirst and a desire to satisfy that craving.
Self-control comes later. I'm still waiting for it to set in.
I found this poem online which really speaks my heart. Good day all and enjoy the sun. Hopefully tomorrow I'll get to make something :-)
But yield who will to their separation,
My object in living is to unite
My avocation and my vocation
As my two eyes make one in sight.
Only where love and need are one,
And the work is play for mortal stakes,
Is the deed ever really done
For heaven and the future´s sakes.
—Robert Frost, Two Tramps in Mud Time, st. 9
No comments:
Post a Comment